Rainy Monday's and Funerals

Monday's are usually my favorite day of the week except when it rains; it's kinda depressing. I don't know why.... I am a high strung person and sometimes the weekends either wear me out or I am so bored, I am ready to get back to work.

I want to thank all of you guys for your sweet thoughts and words for me following the death of a good friend of mine. It has really hit me hard how fast life can be snuffed out. In an instant. I will never again take for granted someone like Lou again. She was so genuine and I am just devastated.

Like most people, I hate funerals. I can't stand the thought of seeing someone for the last time. It's so definite. I hate it when people stand over them and say "She looks so bad." Well, of course they don't look good. "She looks so good" How can they look good? I always try to remember them in a very good way; happy, smiling and picturing them doing something that they enjoy.

I went to Lou's viewing last night and just stood there looking at her sweet face and her soft hands. Her nails were always manicured to perfection and she always had her hair done on Fridays. As always, she looked perfect. Her granddaughter Mindy, who is pregnant, had been standing next to her coffin the whole time I was in line, left right before I got up to see Lou. I was greeted by Lou's daughter. She looked right at me and said "You have to be Jenny Fab." I told her that I was and cried on her shoulder and told her how very much I loved her mother and how much she meant to me. She just wasn't my seamstress, she was my friend and I am broken hearted that I did not get to tell her goodbye. Her husband Marvin came over with tears in his eyes and told me that she always got a kick out of seeing me and our talks. As I was leaving, I saw Mindy. She said that I must be Mrs. U. I don't know how she knew who I was, but she did. She told me that they went into Lou's sewing room (which by the way, never was out of place or had any stray thread on the floor) and found a baggie with a ton of swatches and small beads inside. They thought that Lou had kept a small swatch and a bead from each prom dress or wedding dress that she ever altered. I knew my swatch was in that baggie as she had altered my wedding dress for me in March. She never told her family that baggie existed. Mindy said that she found out that she had cancer on Nov 3 and had gone in early last week for her markings to begin her treatment and they were never able to even start them. She said that Lou immediately began teaching Marvin, who Lou had done everything for, how to write checks, pay bills, etc. She knew she was not going to live to see her treatments. Lou was very private and did not want all the fuss and attention and for people to feel sorry for her (I think that's why we were friends.. we were a lot alike) and when she told me about the mass, she said that she had not even told her sisters. I felt honored looking back now, that she trusted me with that secret and she wanted me to know.

On this Monday, I will go to Lou's funeral, and then to her graveside to stand in the cold and rain to tell my friend goodbye for the last time.