A little of this and a little of that.....

Sorry that I have been a little out of touch lately. I am worn out and bitchy as hell, so forgive me if there are spelling and grammar mistakes. Way tooooooooo tired to care.

First of all, Vegas was on the boring side. I guess it's the whole "I'm married now" thing. Instead of "How youuuu doing??? (just imagine Joey from "Friends" saying that)... it's now... "Hi, I'm plain-old-boring-married-JennyFab." :( I guess the most exciting thing was some guy came up to me in the bar and asked if he could buy me a drink. I told him "No, thank you." He insisted and I told him I was married. Guess what his reply was? Yep. "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." "Fuckoff" was my initial reaction, but he was kinda cute..... so I just politely declined again. I was a little disappointed that my convention was at the Golden Nugget, but it was acutally pretty nice. It was not the Bellagio, but it was nice. Nice pool with a large shark/fish tank in the middle with a slide that ran right though. Yes, I am still in the third grade and HAD to go down. It was soooo cool! Best part of my trip... hands down. Seriously.

Second... Elle, remember when I used to fly and you always picked me up at the airport and had a Redbull waiting on me? Well, it was the first time my husband was able to pick me up and he was excited. I was a little reluctant because, well... it's my husband. He is a little forgetful. When I arrived, I was very tired, my back hurt and I was cranky. I was still excited to see him and when I walked to luggage claim... he was not there. Oh hell N-to the-O. I was HOT! He came down the ramp after about 5 minutes and when I asked why he was late.... he said he was in the bathroom. WTF???? He had 4 days to pee and poop as much as he possibly could and the urge hits him at the very fucking minute I am landing????? I could have killed him. The first thing I told him was "You lost your privilege to pick me up at the airport again. Elle will pick me up from now on. Where is my Redbull?" He gave me this blank look and told me "Ahhhhh, I wanted it to be cold, so we'll get one when we leave." I was ready to leave him in baggage claim. See ya'll..... He stayed out half the night before with his brother, so he was hung over and tired. My neighbor texted me on Sunday and told me that she heard him out on the back porch (her room is close to our back porch) about 3 a.m. talking baby talk to Kasey. I told her he was drunk. We got into the car and he said that we will go straight and get the Redbull and I told him that I didn't want one now.... he said he was stopping anyway. Hell would freezer over before I drank it though... we didn't stop either. He got the cold shoulder for most of the night, but it's hard to stay mad at him long. It did kinda make me think that I should have let that ass in the bar buy me that drink.

Third... remember those super-fly patches that my Dr. gave me??? Welllllll....after I had on my third one, I took it off on Thursday night after I arrived in Vegas, I noticed my back looked very irritated around where the patch was placed. I just brushed it off thinking it was on there too long even though I knew it was only on there about 10 hours and it's good for 12. The next morning I woke up and jumped into the shower quickly and remember my back really itching.. I reached around and scratched my back and it was very, very sore and all.... hivey! I positioned myself to look into the mirror and half of my lower back was broken out into a terrible rash. I know that I am not allergic to Lidocaine and figured it had to be the adhesive on the patch. I spent the entire weekend scratching my back looking like some fucking hillbilly. There was a pharmacy downtown, so I picked up some Benedryl creme. I texted my neighbor Lesley and she called my Dr for me and was told that there was nothing really that I could do except Benedryl. By the time that I got home, (the plane ride was especially miserable because my back was still killing me and I now had this terrible, God awful rash) the area of where the patch had been, was now blood red, swollen terribly, painful and it was hot to the touch. My husband just about fainted when he saw my back. My neighbor is a nurse and she freaked and told me to RUN to the Dr. the next morning. Went to the DR the next morning and SHE just about fainted as well. It's taken a week and a half and a steroid shot for it to clear up.... but I'll live.

Fourth.... I am on a roll here.... today, I went to the post office and some little old lady who was about 75 pulled right out in front of me. My road rage kicked into high gear and I remember thinking..... "I am soooo gonna bitch about her on my blog tonight." As luck would bite me in the ass..... while I am sitting here writing this blog..... on of my field agents just called me and told me that some OLD MAN pulled out in front of him and it TOTALED the repo that we just secured. SON OF A BITCH!!!!!! My agent's wrist is hurt but no one else is hurt. Thankfully. Nowwwwwww....... where the fuck are the family members of these old farts to revoke their driving privileges??????? I mean, how many fucking people are these old people gonna injure before some kind of fucking law is passed that has them take some sort of test when they get past a certain age? Fuck me running I am pissed off. If I had a nail, I could chew it in half.

While I am on the subject... if you drive while smoking a cigarette... Fucking put it out and drive already! Nothing pisses me off more than to get behind, beside or pass someone who thinks that fucking cigarette is more important than the people who's lives you are endangering cause you can't wait a few fucking minutes to get to your destination. Drive or smoke.... but don't do both!

Ok. I'm off my soapbox.

Fucking people.