Y'all have no idea how comfortable it actually was. Took a little 5 minute nap... plenty of sunblock and had my water handy. I could have slept in that pool last night I was so tired!
Today I have been so emotional. Every tiny thing has made me cry. I started crying in the drive thru at Wendy's! I had a meltdown in the shower last night and it just carried over to today. This is just the craziest thing. I hate to admit this, but I love Monday evenings. We had the kids this weekend and they just went full throttle all weekend. The big one asks a MILLION questions; the little one, he is a constant battle to get to take a shower, pick up his clothes, chores, etc. All I want to do is ship everyone off til Baby Fab makes her grand entrance. I could not wait til 5:30 so J would have to leave for work. I'm terrible! I hate myself for feeling this way today. I cherish the time with my husband, but lately.... I just long to be by myself. I love the boys, but my patience right now is very, very thin and the least little thing just makes me want to EXPLODE!
I hate to admit this, too. Today, I am 34 weeks and I know that I only have around 6 weeks until she is born . It is not that I am excited about the baby, I am just terrified. I am consumed with What ifs:
What if I something happens during delivery?
What if I die? Who will take care of her?
What if I don't know why she is crying?
What if I don't know that she's sick?
What if I get postpardum depression?
What if what if what if??????? I will drive myself crazy if I think about it too long. J has the nerve to tell me HE is scared? Right. He's been here before. He knows what to expect and he will not be here every night to help me adjust. It's going to be a huge adjustment. I mean, for 41 years it's been me. I've never had to take care of anyone for more than 24 hours and it scares the holy crap out of me that I will not be able to handle the situation. Especially, since I am such a control freak.
My laptop crashed (or so I thought) last Friday and I finally got it back today. The computer guy was geeky and he smelled bad. His office was a shit hole. It smelled like cat urine and like something had crawled up inside one of the oh, like...... 52 computers piled up inside his office, had died. To make matters worse, he had some christian channel blaring music! Not that I have anything against that genre of music, but for crying out loud.... I couldn't hear myself think! I wanted to just strangle my laptop out of him. I had to stand there for 15 minutes smelling that horrific office while he told me AGAIN what was wrong with my laptop. My skin crawled when he told me that my hard drive was fine and it had, in fact, not crashed. All I kept thinking was.... he probably looked at all my pictures! Vomit. Oh yeah, I had to throw away my laptop case because that freakin smell is now haunting me.
If I am not already irritated enough... the dang smoke alarm battery is going bad and chirps every minute! I will not climb up on a chair to change the battery. I'm pretty sure though that my broom handle is long enough to reach up there and beat the crap out of it until is shuts the hell off or breaks. Whichever comes first makes me no never mind.
Gesh... I'll never make it without killing something or someone. Hang in there with me guys and thanks for listening to my rant. I feel better. Send me positive thoughts to get me over these hump days and I can get back to enjoying my pregnancy.
8 comments:
You'll make it sweetheart. The "what if's" are normal, as is wanting everyone around you to LEAVE. You are in you final stage and things are getting close - try to shut your mind off and relax as much as possible. You're gonna have way too much to worry about AFTER she's born. Love you honey, hope your feeling better. And P.S. You have the cutest belly I have ever seen :)
Agree with the Girl! Everything you are experiencing is SO normal! You WILL be fine once that sweet baby girl is in your arms! btw...cute pic & you did look waaaaay comfy! ;)
Girl: Thank you so much. I feel better today. I know I have to relax, I was wayyyy stressed out yesterday. XOXO
TGG: I was soo comfy. Thank you for the re-assurance. It's just so new to me. I never knew I would have these feelings and they are just scary! XOXO
Of course you are freaked out! What sane person wouldn't be? But you and Baby Fab are going to be excellent. You will fall right into motherhood. After all, you waited long enough right? ;)
You look gorgeous, Sweetie! Keep that chin up, you will do fine!
Love the picture! You will be fine. Even though I just finished my 3rd pregnancy, I felt the same way you do. It happens to all of us, near the end. But you are NEAR THE END!! You are **so** close to holding your beautiful baby girl. Put your mind on 'auto-pilot', and just think about the day when you get to bring her home to her little nursery for the first time. The labor concerns - are out of your control; let go of your worries. Your body's gonna do what its gonna do, and just trust your doctor, your husband and yourself! You can DO this. {{{hugs}}}}
Everything is normal. And it will all be fine. After a few weeks, you will fall into a routine that works for you and the baby. Hang in there!
You are just getting close and you have nothing else to do but think.
:)
Things will be fine.
You look adorable!
Glad you're feeling better...ya know, you didn't ask one question..and that would be 'What if everything just goes perfectly?'
Hang in there honey....almost there :)
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