I still get so emotional. The smallest things just make me tear up when I think of my baby girl. Saturday evening, I took the boys and Baby Fab to the mall so that they could trade in some old video games and get Baby Fab's taken with Santa. I worried the whole time that he was going to be a pervert, but was very relieved when he really looked innocent.
This was my first outing with Baby Fab, (except for a quick trip a week ago when I carried her in my arms inside the mall for like, 15 minutes which I will NEVER do again!) and her first trip with her stroller. I was a little nervous placing her in the stroller at first, but she quickly got a little grin on her face as she was just fed and diapered and was just kicking back and looked very relaxed. I started pushing the stroller and got a little teary eyed. See, I have always wanted a baby... even when I said I did not. Even when I said that I was content without one... even when I said that it was so nice to "get up and go to Vegas" on a business trip without worrying what I would do with a child. I lied. To everyone. All the time. It got easy, too. Even when J and I married. I acted like it was no big deal if I did not get pregnant because we had the boys and then we could do what we wanted on our weekend and not worry about what we would do with a baby. I told everyone that we were happy with or without a child. Lie.
So, as I pushed my baby girl in her stroller, I was a mommy taking my baby to the mall like so many other mommy's do. Finally. I always wanted to push a stroller around the mall so that everyone would oh and ah over my baby like I had done to every single child I passed being pushed around. As I stood in line waiting to see Santa, I looked around and said "Finally". I saw how people were looking at us, smiling at the baby and I wondered if they thought Baby Fab was a pretty baby or just how sweet she seemed. I stood in line and wiped a tear as I was finally able to do all this stuff that might seem so trivial to most people. People might say... "Just wait.. that stroller will get on your nerves dragging it in and out of the car." "You'll get tired dragging that baby around the mall." You know what I have learned since the day that I found out I was pregnant (Feb 2, 2009)? .. I'm a lucky girl to FINALLY have my baby and to not take anything for granted. Finally.. I get to do the things that I have always wanted to do with a child and I will do everything I can with her with a smile on my face and a tear in my eye.
So, for this year.. I am so thankful to God for giving me this very sweet baby that melts my heart every single minute of every single day.
9 comments:
I love her and you. I am so glad she has come into your life.
Awww. That was very sweet and she is a lucky little lady to have you for a mom. Find any great sales?
Great post. I am so thrilled to see how much joy she brings to your life.
What a sweet, honest post. What a lucky little girl BFab is to have a mommy (& baby Daddy too!) like you.... ;) xoxo
With Buddy being so premature, I knew how precious it was to have him in my life. Every time we would do something "normal", I would well up with tears.
You will not get tired of the stroller. In fact, the Evil Twin had to strong arm me into taking ours out of the van because Sissy is too big for it! Nooo, I wanted that stroller - just in case! :-)
What a sweet post. Be sure to save that for Baby Fab to read when she's all grown up. I am so glad all your dreams came true.
I knew the truth, mama :)
Thank you so much you guys. Elle, I know you did. Thank you for never calling me out on it;Heart u for that.
Baby Fab will make me a better person... I promise.
Love all you guys so much and so thankful for each and every one of you. You have touched my life in so many ways. sniff sniff
Ok, you and ETW both made me well up this morning. J-Fab that was so from the heart. I actually felt it. I'm so happy for you and Baby Fab is so lucky to have you for her Momma. You are truly blessed. Hope you, J, and the baby have a blessed Thanksgiving. Luv Ya ! XXXOOO
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