Now, I'm asking for help....

I can't even get started working this morning. I'm so upset. Baby Fab will not take the breast. She did fine on Friday and took it during the night and morning, but not during the day and yesterday. She will still take it if she wakes, but other than that--- she will have nothing to do with it. Really hope she changes her mind and I won't give up trying to get her back on daily. I still pump and I know the most important thing is to still give her the breast milk, but I will miss her so much perched down there. My favorite time is after B Daddy goes to work at 5:30. It's just us snuggled on the couch or chair and she nurses until she takes her evening nap. I leave her there and hold her as much as I can until 7. That's when we get up and have play time. I put her in her exersaucer (which she LOVES LOVES LOVES) or her bumbo while I clean the kitchen or do whatever. At 8, she has her veggies (loves everything except green beans) and then finishes it off with some cereal. I told my Dr her schedule (which is Sleep as much as she wants until 7, dinner at 8, baths and she goes down like a champ at 9 sharp), and she said it sounded great.

Last night, my mother, who keep in mind has not had an infant in 40 yrs) told me that her eating her veggies that late was not a good idea. I said, "Really?" and she said... "Well, I should know... I had four kids." Very "matter of factly." Oh hell no....Hold my earrings, Elle. I was so freaking mad. You know what? I may not know a whole lot about raising a child and each day is a huge learning experience for me, but don't fucking tell me how to do it if I do not ask. Every mother reading this post.. did you know every single answer to every single question with your first child? I'm sure she didn't. It made me feel like I don't know how to take care of her. Is it too late? Hell if I know. All I know is she doesn't seem like her tummy aches afterwards or seem uncomfortable. Am I right or wrong? She thinks it's just not right to have her on a schedule cause "she never had to put her kids on a schedule and she had four." Yeah, I know how many kids you have, mom. I was raised with each and every one of them. Grrrr. She is politely telling me how to take care of her and I know it. What she is going to do is make me stop telling her things that I do with her so I don't have to feel like an idiot. I would hate to do that to her, but it is really bothering me. Oh, she doesn't like the fact that she has not had fruits yet. Like I'm punishing Baby Fab by not giving her the fruits. Uummm, it's called giving her time to really, really enjoy veggies cause I'm scared once she has fruits, she will not go back to veggies. Again, I spoke to her Dr about her eating habits 2 weeks ago when we were in for a checkup. She said that she should be ok with cereal in the mornings, breast milk during the day, veggie and cereal before she goes to bed and around 6 months, I would probably have to add more things to her diet. But, if she doesn't seem cranky or act like she is hungry... go with that until she lets me know otherwise.

One thing I hate more than anything is to have to explain myself. To anyone. I run a business and I should not have to explain myself to my employees. They question me from time to time and I have learned to say one of two phrases, which they hate, BTW: HBIC (Head bitch in charge) or RHIP (rank has it's privileges). What I really wanna say is.... cause I'm the mommy, that's why. I guess I'm just frustrated because I feel like I have to explain everything I do to my mother. I would never say anything to her though... but I'm biting my tongue so much, it is about chewed in half.

Baby Fab seemed off this weekend and I wonder if she's cutting teeth. The past couple of mornings, she was "rattling" when I went in to get her and ran a low grade temp yesterday. She was very quiet, though not cranky and still playful. She didn't take many naps either this past weekend. Oh, BTW, if you didn't know-- she went to her crib on Fri night. It has been going well and I think she loves having more room. I actually did better than I thought I would. IT was very strange to put her in her bed and turn the light out knowing she was down for the night. I put a CD player in there with some Lullaby's and she will just listen carefully.

Yesterday, it was so warm outside and we went up to the mall. It was the first time that we had Baby Fab's face uncovered and she was just amazed looking outside! When I put her in the stroller, I decided to see what she would do if I set up the back rest of her stroller. SHE LOVED SITTING UP LIKE A BIG GIRL! The picture is on Facebook. She is sitting up wonderfully and she had her first REAL rollover last night while waiting on me to get her bath ready! About a month or so ago, she rolled 1/2 way over. Well, she has worked hard trying to figure out how to get her arm out of the way and last night, she went all the way and quickly propped herself up with her hands. So stinking sweet.

I'm rambling this morning, but need some help from my friends.... Why won't she take the breast? Will she go back? Is 8 too late for veggies? Am I going to loose my mind sooner rather than later?